with the force of a thousand million blows
Things I thought about today when I was outside:
1) People give their kids stupid names these days. I saw a birth announcement in someone's front yard and they had named their new daughter McKinley. It seems obvious to me that parents aren't as concerned that their child receives special attention for a unique name as much as the parents want to be congratulated for being "unique" themselves. Another popular trend these days is to name kids after some obscure poet or painter or somesuch. Though it's less annoying than naming your baby girl Nevaeh ("heaven" backwards, which I guess makes it evil like an upside down cross) because the guy with dirty hair from Counting Crows did the same, it's still a lame attempt at getting others to notice how smart/informed/cool/enlightened/whatever you are. I like family names, myself. I'm named after a crazy baptist preacher from the georgia mountains who believed that Cain receiving the mark on his face was the advent of black people. That means a lot more to me than some dude who painted women with ferns in place of heads. Though I never knew the guy, he had a lot more to do with who I am than I could ever be cognisant of.
However, in contrast to the above, if I actually have kids one day they will be named Jack Bauer, Vic Mackey, Admiral Adama, Al Swearengen, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
2)Mexicans listen to God awful music. This excludes, of course, Mexicans in California who like Morrissey. I'm not one of those people who thinks all cultures are equal. Some cultures exceed in one area while performing miserabley in another. Cultures can be superior and inferior to others in different areas. Different isn't equal. France has turned out better artist's over the years than England. England, on the other hand, actually knows how to win a war. (Technically, France did win their revolutionary war but that was because their opponent was the french) China has, for thousands of years, been the at the forefront of debasing any concept of individual human worth. Japan makes better tentacle rape monsters than anyone. America is awesome at being overweight. Canada, well, I have no idea what they do besides lie awake in fear at night that an American might be making fun of them.
Mexicans, despite having invented the best, most delicious "cheap" food on the planet, have no idea what to do with musical instruments. I can understand if you're some lowly slave in Juarez; you probably just don't get much of a chance to hear anything good, and if the choice were between hokey mexican country music and whatever MTV is trying to sell, I'd go with the hokey crap. But guys, you live in America, where the best popular music in the world is made. I know Louisville has the worst music stations of any city, but there is the internet. Or stop and ask me what you should be listeing to. Just stop it with the percussive base and the accordion and please quit trying to fuse it with american music. Rapping and accordions should never be one. Ever.
I am a big fan, however, of mexicans' penchant for objectifying women any chance they get. (Half time at the soccer match? Let's cut to the studio where the commentators are surrounded by hot dancing girls in bathing suits.) This almost makes up for their musical crimes.
Things I thought about today when I was outside:
1) People give their kids stupid names these days. I saw a birth announcement in someone's front yard and they had named their new daughter McKinley. It seems obvious to me that parents aren't as concerned that their child receives special attention for a unique name as much as the parents want to be congratulated for being "unique" themselves. Another popular trend these days is to name kids after some obscure poet or painter or somesuch. Though it's less annoying than naming your baby girl Nevaeh ("heaven" backwards, which I guess makes it evil like an upside down cross) because the guy with dirty hair from Counting Crows did the same, it's still a lame attempt at getting others to notice how smart/informed/cool/enlightened/whatever you are. I like family names, myself. I'm named after a crazy baptist preacher from the georgia mountains who believed that Cain receiving the mark on his face was the advent of black people. That means a lot more to me than some dude who painted women with ferns in place of heads. Though I never knew the guy, he had a lot more to do with who I am than I could ever be cognisant of.
However, in contrast to the above, if I actually have kids one day they will be named Jack Bauer, Vic Mackey, Admiral Adama, Al Swearengen, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
2)Mexicans listen to God awful music. This excludes, of course, Mexicans in California who like Morrissey. I'm not one of those people who thinks all cultures are equal. Some cultures exceed in one area while performing miserabley in another. Cultures can be superior and inferior to others in different areas. Different isn't equal. France has turned out better artist's over the years than England. England, on the other hand, actually knows how to win a war. (Technically, France did win their revolutionary war but that was because their opponent was the french) China has, for thousands of years, been the at the forefront of debasing any concept of individual human worth. Japan makes better tentacle rape monsters than anyone. America is awesome at being overweight. Canada, well, I have no idea what they do besides lie awake in fear at night that an American might be making fun of them.
Mexicans, despite having invented the best, most delicious "cheap" food on the planet, have no idea what to do with musical instruments. I can understand if you're some lowly slave in Juarez; you probably just don't get much of a chance to hear anything good, and if the choice were between hokey mexican country music and whatever MTV is trying to sell, I'd go with the hokey crap. But guys, you live in America, where the best popular music in the world is made. I know Louisville has the worst music stations of any city, but there is the internet. Or stop and ask me what you should be listeing to. Just stop it with the percussive base and the accordion and please quit trying to fuse it with american music. Rapping and accordions should never be one. Ever.
I am a big fan, however, of mexicans' penchant for objectifying women any chance they get. (Half time at the soccer match? Let's cut to the studio where the commentators are surrounded by hot dancing girls in bathing suits.) This almost makes up for their musical crimes.
posted by john william at 6:15 PM
1 comments
